6 step to orchestrating a successful Mass Bunk

What is a mass bunk?

If you don’t know. Don’t bother reading this article.

If you do know and have not orchestrate one yet: Welcome to your first year of engineering. Read on to know more!

And if you know what it is and have done it: Congratulation on your engineering degree! Read on for old-times sake.

1. Reason.

It is not really important. The weather can be too hot to be stuck in a class or  too good to be stuck in a class. The upcoming class might require submission of an assignment or an upcoming movie show might require your presence. It might be a lecture on Field Theory or Thermodynamics that precipitates the even. Perhaps the fact that it is the last class on a Friday or a Monday or anyday. Or any class for that matter. All that is required is the reason or even the lack thereof. But if you wanna go by the book some students of Nirma have prepared a pareto diagram for your reference.

Screen Shot 2015-06-27 at 12.16.08 am

2. Protagonist and Foil

While the mass bunk is a rare example of unity and solidarity among the brethren of a nation with 9 religions, 122 languages, 3000 castes and 25,000 subcastes; it still takes one to spark it off. It can be the class representative and his friend, the back-bencher and another back-bencher or sometimes even the teacher’s pet and a sports quota cricketer. Here is an example by samosapedia

A : Maccha… which period is next da… its Field theory..rite?

B : Yeah.. you are gonna attend it or wat??

A : Let’s do a mass bunk da…

3. Organize

This is where most mass bunk attempts peter out. Anecdotal evidence suggests that roughly 7 out of every 10 mass bunk attempts fail because of a lack of UNITY. Here are some pointers to avoid such a situation.

First, gain a critical mass of 20 per cent. i.e If it is a class of 60 atlas 12 people should be in before making it public.

Second, in case you cannot make 20 per cent. Approach the fairer sex. Sex sells. In this case of course, we are just referring to the gender. If the girl’s push for a mass bunk, anecdotal evidence suggests that 9 out 10 mass bunk attempts succeed.

And thirdly get the outlying parameters on board. This refers to the nerds, teachers pet and low-attendance chaps on board. The first two are the hardest nut to crack and physical threats are recommended. The third species is harder to deal with as you can sympathise with the fact that he has finally attended a class in three-weeks only to be told it is a mass bunk. Here, it is suggested that you employ various strategies of emotional blackmail, sympathetic confidence gaining and reverse psychology to attain you required results.

4. Communicate

Once you achieve critical mass and reign in all outlying parameters you go ahead a launch a public service announcement via Whatsapp groups and SMS forwards.

A top-tip here is that from the first day of class a phone-etiquette of silent mode is followed as if all the buzzers were to go off in such group forward situation, the unsuspecting professor might suspect a thing or two.

In absence of portable communication technology systems, folder paper-chits can be passed around. Where to hide this paper in case of of detection by the faculty is a topic whose scope is beyond this article and is a topic on its own. But, its suffice to say that swallowing is perhaps a last resort and simply stamping over the paper might often do.

5. Timing

This is critical as failing this step means you get busted for bunking without the rewards of bunking. No sooner does the professor leave that the protagonist should follow him out of class on recco to scope out the location of the professor whose upcoming class is being skipped. Co-ordination between him and his foil is required to now ensure that entire class slips out before the professor makes it to the stairs of entrance of the building depending on the geography of the structure.

PS: Please do not be disrespectful and ensure someone with good handwriting takes the responsibility of scribbling “Mass Bunk” on the chalkboard so as to inform the professor.

6. Have Fun

If you need an explanation for this step then perhaps mass bunking is not for you.

PSS: For all this effort be prepared, depending on the personality of the professor, to face his emotion atyachar or verbal abuse or physical threat or attendance threat or worst of all academic threat. However, be advised that most such threats are damp squibs as even the professor knows that this is an ENGINEERING DEGREE and that it is the responsibility of the company that hires the student at campus placement to teach him the required Engineering and nothing was expected to be learnt in a class.

Which is why you mass bunk engineering.

PSSS: For those of you who don’t have the courage, here is an inspiration story of 7th class kids in Delhi who pulled of the PERFECT MASS BUNK. A phenomenon of 100 per cent absenteeism that is rare among Engineers lets alone 9-year-old primary school kids.

http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2010/08/mass-bunk-by-primary-school-students.html

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